The Chloe Effect

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So i just got finished watching Chloe, a movie starring Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried. This movie is about a woman having suspicion that her husband might be having an affair so she meets a young girl whom she pays to go and spend time with her husband and then report back to her to tell her all the details of their time together. So my question is now would you go to these lengths if you didn’t trust your partner to see what they were up to ?

My personal opinion on this is no. As a woman why torture yourself even more. Just have that conversation with your significant other and tell them how you are feeling. Of course it’s a difficult conversation to have but trust me it is less headache. Some people in relationships lack trust off of accusations and not facts, granted every situation is different. There are real people that would actually go to these lengths to try and catch their partner in a lie. Most people will say these cliches in regards to a situation like this:

1. If you cannot trust someone that you’re in a relationship with why be in that relationship

2. If you cannot communicate with the person you’re in a relationship with then why stay in that relationship

These cliches are very easier said than done. We’ve all been in that one or few relationships that we feel like we should hold on too because we don’t know what else is out there and mostly because we love that person so much. But my mindset on this is “if it’s meant for me then it will be for me”. It’s better not to stress yourself out trying to snoop and sneak and look through your partners things because that is showing your own insecurities. You have to be so strong within yourself that even this person that you are choosing to share your life with can not and will not break you because of their careless decisions. You got to love yourself, trust yourself, communicate with yourself & appreciate yourself first before you can do all those things and more for anyone else.

 

*I do not own the rights to the photo above*

New Years Resolution ?

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I make a New Years resolution every single but ask me if i actually follow through on it .. the answer will most likely be no. I am not the best with consistency in most things that I do. The passion is there and so is the vision and so are the steps needed to get to where i want to be but the will to actually work hard for it is sadly lacking. I don’t know what it is with me but when i feel as though something requires too much work i kind of sike myself out and just convince myself that I’m better off without it. I hate the “new year,new me” thing but that’s what type of time I’m on right now. I want better for myself so it’s time that i actually implement some positive changes in my life because i am beginning to feel a bit stagnant and stuck in my ways. For 2018 i plan on bettering myself mentally, physically and spiritually.

Mentally

The mind is such a powerful thing. Without you even being fully aware it can begin to control you. Think about it. Your mind is one of the most important/sacred things that you have. It holds on to memories and is filled with an array of ideas. It can be quite overwhelming but once you realize that you control it then you will be better off in every aspect of your life. I let my mind get the best of me. I am #1 second guess a decision that i was so sure of. My goal this year is to think things through thoroughly so that there won’t be any room to second guess. I want to be confident in my actions, words and decisions. I will commit myself to posting 2-3 blogs, not necessarily long ones, a week to excersise my mind and to keep it sharp. Along with that i will be calendar logging every single day. Calendar logging is basically writing a super small excerpt either in the morning or at the end of your day in the small box that is provided for each day on a calendar. This will help me remember how i felt throughout the year and will help me commit to something along with blogging. Also i will commit myself to cleaning my room and trying my best to keep everything clean and organized because a cluttered room opens up opportunity for a cluttered mind.

Physically

I am not comfortable with my weight. I’m not totally huge I’m just out of my comfort zone. I come from a very active background, i have been dancing and stepping all my life. I recently just graduated from undergrad so once that happened i ceased all physical activity. I feel like my body is in shock right now. I’m super sensitive about remarks being made about my body because im not comfortable in my skin physically at this time in my life. So what does one do when they don’t like something about themselves ? They work their ass off to change that. So of course i will be committing myself to working out at least 3-4 times a week. Now this might be a little tricky because i reside in buffalo which is looking like a snow globe right now but that is no excuse. I will set up a work out plan for myself. I will do maybe 2 days in the gym and then the other two work out in my home. I will also be adjusting my eating habits. Not only will i be cutting fast food down to just one day a week but i will also be eating smaller portions and introducing more fruits to my diet. I will be documenting my weight loss along the way.

Spiritually

I have been slacking a bit in this area. I try and make it to church every Sunday but i work Saturday nights into Sunday mornings and am exhausted by the time it’s time to wake up for church. I will commit myself to make it to church twice a month, preferably the first Sunday of the month and the second to last Sunday of the month. My relationship with God has gotten me through many difficult situations that i have gotten through lately. God shows me just how strong I am and that i can accomplish every and anything through him. I will have constant conversations with him not just in times that i need him but just when i want to give thanks for all of the good things that he has done for me and all of the blessings that he has given me and my loved ones.

2018 is the year of me coming into my own. I’m going to be versatile in every aspect in my life down to my attitude when dealing with people & situations, down to my hairstyles, my outfits, my concentration when it comes to my education and my relationships. Optimism is the word for 2018.

Happy Holidays

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It’s been a while eh ? I got so wrapped up in final exams and final papers as well as the upcoming holidays and of course working. I was able to take off a whole week from work to head home and spend time with my family. I haven’t been home since the summer time so this was sort of a must for me to make this trip. I spent the day with my immediate family, my parents, grandparents, auntie and my cousin. So this is my first year spending holidays with my family where I am finally over 21 and can hang with the big dogs. I usually get the “Tiylaa go to your room, grown folk are talking” and i would troop to my room and play my piano.

It’s so refreshing being home and being around family considering I have been going through life and learning things on my own. I have no responsibilites, dont have to wake up early, and dont have to make my own food. I am living the life. It makes me think and reminisce about simpler times. When i was a kid/teen and my biggest worry was my peers accepting me and me being apart of the cool kids. I would love to go back and tell my self that the issues I had were so minimalistic compared to challenges you will be faced with in the future. And it’s so crazy to think that I will be saying and thinking the same exact thing in about 10 years when I am in my career, married and have a family of my own. Cherish and appreciate the holiday season because it brings families back together. No matter how busy people are in their lives they put all of that on hold to come together and be surrounded by their loved ones.

What’s your timeline ?

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Okay so i feel like everybody either lowkey or highkey has a timeline of how they want their life to play out so boom here’s mine. I want to start having kiddies at the age of 26. But i want to be married for at least a year and half before i have my children so that means i want to me married by 25 but engaged by 24. But i want to be dating my husband to be for at least 3 years before we get married which means i would have to meet and be dating my husband around now because i am currently 21 years old. I want to own my own home If possible in the suburbs and be in my career by the age of 26. I would like to have my second child by the age of 27 and then my third by the age of 30. What’s your timeline ?

Bullies

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If there is one thing that I CANNOT stand is a bully ! I was working register at my job the other day and I saw these young girls maybe in their mid-teens walk in, order some fries, then sit down and enjoy. I see another girl around their age group see them through the window and proceeds to come in but when the group of girls seen her they had a totally different reaction, they got up and tried to hide from the girl behind garbage cans and underneath the table (mind you my job is surrounded by windows 🤦🏾‍♂️). So the girl finally makes it inside and the ones that were hiding from her just gave up and decided to go back to their seats. I thought it was a joke because me and my friends joke around with eachother like that but i was sadly mistaken. The girl walks to the table and is asking why were they hiding from her ? What did she do ? And the group of girls proceed to eat their fries and ignore her. One girl, i guess she’s the spokesperson of the group, told her “I said we were hanging out later (pointing to the girls at the table with her), not you” then went back to ignoring her and eating her fries. The girl looked so hurt so she stormed out. I could not believe what i just witnessed. That was so disgusting and the sad thing is that that girl will forever remember this moment in her lifetime because at that time in a girls life loosing your friends and not even knowing why can destroy your self-esteem. Why do we bully eachother? Like what satisfaction does that give the bullier? I was bullied growing up because i allowed that to happen. As a kid i always wanted to fit in with the “cool kids” but now i realized that i would never be in their little clique because we didn’t have anything in common and that’s okay. Today i much rather have quality over quantity. And that is exactly what i have and I’m content. I rather have 5 people that are extremely loyal to me than 15 people that I’m not sure if i can trust.