Grown Ups

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When we were all children we always dreamed about what we wanted to be when we grow up. Most of us said that we wanted to be doctors, lawyers, singers, actors/actresses. We chose those professions because we wanted to be successful in our futures. As a kid being a grown up seemed like such an exciting time in life, which it definitely is don’t get me wrong, but now that I am an adult it is and it isn’t all that i expected. I am now 22 years old and I can honestly say that I’m truly trying to find my path to success. I am working a job that pays the bills, do I love it? No. I realize that apart of adulting is sometimes putting yours needs before your wants which is super difficult for me to do. There are definitely pros and cons when it comes to adulting.

Being an adult is a challenge after challenge. Even though sometimes it feels as though I’m getting kicked while I’m already down, I somehow see myself through it. Growing up is not an easy thing to do but it is inevitable so we might as well make the best of it. I have taught myself to be my own moral conscience which is something I’m not used to. Im used to having family and friends decide my fate for me because they love me so I just assumed they would never steer me in the wrong direction. I’m super independent these days and taught myself to make and stand by my own decisions. I am an only child so I am conditioned to being a bit sheltered. So transitioning from always having someone there to depending on myself has been a difficult but much needed transition.

Personally I am not where I wanna be in life yet. Yes of course I am able to provide for myself which is the most important part and i am able to fulfill my needs but what about all of my wants ? I want to have a car, I want to have a job that challenges me, I want to have a job in my field, a better apartment. But Im learning to be grateful for all that I do have and the fact that I am blessed enough to get up every morning to go into work and be able to provide for myself. Another big part of adulting is being able to stay optimistic & challenge yourself to be better and work harder than you are now. That’s truly the key to success. If someone were to ask me now what i want to be when i grow up my answer would be simple, I wanna be the boss and I’ll stop at nothing until I make that want a reality.

What was/is the most difficult part of growing up for you? What do you struggle with the most? Why? Are you in a place in your life where you feel as though you are successful or where you wanna be in life?

My Top Ten favorite 90’s Neo-Soul Artists!

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Here is a list of my top ten favorite neo-soul artists that I listen to almost every single day! Neo-Soul takes me to such a different space and energy and time. These artists portray so much positivity and empowerment for all. Neo Soul music is good for the soul y’all. Check out my top ten neo-soul artists!! (In order from my my most favorite to my least favorite)

  1. Jill Scott
  2. India Arie
  3. Lauryn Hill
  4. Alicia Keys
  5. Chrisette Michele
  6. Musiq Soulchild
  7. Anthony Hamilton
  8. Erykah Badu
  9. Maxwell
  10. Floetry

Maiden or Married

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So i was doing my usual scroll through Instagram and i went stumbled across a post made by the shaderoom. So those who are familiar knows that the shaderoom is the place to go if you ever want the latest tea, controversial topics and sometimes even positivity. This was the post that instantly caught my eye:

The post posed the question of whether or not a woman should take on her husbands last name once they are married. Alright yall lets take this back historically. Many many decades ago it women were actually forbidden and it was looked down upon for them to keep their maiden names because once a man and woman were married they were seen as one. At the time, the one was seen as the husband who was the head of the family and would be representative of himself and his family. Let’s just say that we lived in a very patriarchal society.

It only became acceptable and legal for a women to maintain her maiden name in 1972. It is now 2018 and although women not taking their husbands isn’t illegal it is still seen as deviant behavior. More than 80% of women take on their husbands last names and more than 40% feel it should still be illegal if a woman refuses not to take on her husbands last name. Times are so different now and women are so much more outspoken now a days. There are women who feel as though they shouldn’t have to take on their husbands last names, there are even women who feel like their husbands should acquire their last name instead. The comment section of the post i mentioned earlier was flooded with what one would consider “feminist” comments like “because i love my last name”, “because i didn’t want to”, “I am way too educated and published in my field to drop my last name for his”, “because i already have one” etc. Then there were also comments that felt like a woman should take on her man’s last name. Then you had those who said they would hyphenate their last name to compromise.

My take on this is simple. When i get married I will be taking on my husbands last name. Simply because it is what i seen while i was being raised. My grandmother took on my grandfather’s and my mother followed suit and took on my father’s. I believe it to be a respect thing. In a heterosexual marriage each person plays a role as husband and wife. Yes of course we are equals but i expect certain things out of my husband as he expects out of me. Me changing my last name doesn’t change who I am it is simply adding on someone’s name that i choose to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with. But of course everyone has their different takes on this topic for several different reasons. So as a woman would you take on your husband’s last name? As a man would you expect your wife to take on your last name ? Why or why not ?

*I do not own the rights to the photo above*

Post me so i know it’s real 😋

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So let’s talk about it. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and the social media posts are about to be off the chain. I’ve seen so many memes already basically saying that on Valentine’s Day all these dudes are gonna reveal who their main chicks are and blah blah blah. To some people social media plays a big role in their relationships. My question to you guys is, do you need social media to feel validation in your relationship ? If your man doesn’t have any pictures of you does that mean he loves you any less ? If your relationship isn’t constantly debuted on social media is it not valid ?

My Top Ten things i just can not live without !

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10 things I can’t live without? Hmmm let’s see (In no particular order ☺️☺️)

1. My phone of course ! I literally check my phone a billion times a day. Helps me stay in contact with work, school, family and friends all with a quick phone call/text.

2. My significant other. Having someone around that not only understands you, wants the best for you and is rooting for you is an amazing feeling. Even better when there are dope vibes all the time when you guys hang !

3. My Music. Okay this is an absolute must ! I have to be able to do my cat walks every and any where. Also gotta be able to have my dance parties in my room while no one is looking

4. My naps. I L-O-V-E a good ol’ nap. Feel like I’m charging then i wake up on 100%5. Friends. My friendships are super important to me. Helps that i have extremely hilarious friends

6. Water. Although i love the occasional juice here and there water is the key to success y’all

7. Netflix/Watch Live TV. I am a avid binge watcher. Absolutely love it

8. Yummy Food. Well Duh! This should be on everyone’s list. Notice i didn’t get too specific. I don’t judge when it comes time to grub 😋

9. My alarm clock/notepad. If you know me these are two very important things to me. I set like a solid 4 alarms for me to wake in the morning & i practically right everything down because my memory is poop

10. Family. Family is super important to me. No matter where life takes me, I know i can always turn to my family for love and support !

What about you? What’s in your top ten ?