My Anti New Year’s Resolution

Inspiration

An·ti /ˈan(t)ē,ˈanˌtī/ : “opposed to; against.”

New Year’s Resolution : “a promise to do something differently in the new year”

I do not wish to be constrained and/or restrained to goals that subconsciously seem unobtainable. I have tried the whole New Year’s Resolution thing for years. Go to gym more, eat better, have more me time, blah blah blah. These “resolutions” last all of two weeks. In 2019 I do not want to burden myself with that overwhelming stress of conquering all of these goals that I have made for myself. Also I never understood why we post and tell our New Year’s Resolutions on social media and to other people. Many fail to realize that this possibly makes those goals 10 times more difficult to reach because you put it out there that these goals must be achieved within that 12 month period.

It does not seem plausible for me to set goals when I have not dealt with my toxic and emotionally distressing habits that I have developed over the years. So no, this isn’t your typical New Year’s Resolution list this is the Anti New Year’s Resolution list. I still want to effect change in my upcoming year but I want to make those changes from within. This year I will focus on all of the negative habits that I developed that have hindered my growth thus far. I will make myself aware of their toxicity and kick these bad habits once and for all. These toxic habits and traits include:

  • Looking for others approval before making a decision
  • Allowing others opinions to determine how I perceive myself
  • Loving someone more than I love myself
  • Being afraid of genuinely and fearlessly being me
  • Using anxiety as a crutch as to why I cant live in my truth and speak my mind
  • Not being able to trust myself
  • Projecting my inner insecurities onto others
  • Being defensive

2019 Mantras

  •  Don’t ever let them see you sweat: People can only see what you allow them to see. This does not  mean that you can’t have a moment of weakness but just let it be a  moment and nothing more
  • Mind over matter: Everything is mental. If you have a strong mentality it will help you deal with situations and make rational decisions
  • Good vibes out and prosperity in :You get what you put out. Find the inner strength to stay positive no matter what challenges come your way

My 2019 Social Media Post, ” I am a Queen and will view myself as such. I will take accountability for all of my actions and live my life authentically and unapologetically. Happy 2019″  

IG @napturalle_elite

Snapchat @Tiyy_selina 

Dear Girl

Inspiration


I have seen this post on social media so many different times so I thought it must be a sign that I need to touch on this. Soooo we are often under this misconception that life is a competition. It can’t be, logically who are we competing against when we are all in our own lanes. Subconsciously we feel envious of those closest to us because they are becoming super successful and we feel extremely stagnant. EVERYBODY has or will go through that envious stage. I have envied close friends, family members even my significant other at times. Being envious isn’t always partnered with malicious intent. Sometimes it’s simply being happy for someone but wanting all of those successes to be happening in your life too. You then sit and rack your brain about what they are doing right and what you’re doing wrong which could potentially be helpful but can also drive you insane. My best word of advice that I have learned after years of having a dark mentality partnered with a false reality from envious thoughts is to just enjoy the life that you have been blessed to live. NOBODY’S life is perfect and we all go through trials and tribulations. We need to focus on our own futures and know that sometimes slow and steady does win the race. I have become strong in my spirituality and I am a firm believer that God has a tailored pathway for my life. He presents me with many forks in the roads that are disguised as decisions. I haven’t always made the right decisions when need be but I realized that God kept giving me the opportunity to make that right decision even if it was in different situations and at completely different times in my life.

Self-Positive reinforcements are essential in the development of our character. We have to be able to encourage and motivate ourselves and sometimes things will happen that we will not understand until an ample amount of time has passed. There has been so many situations where I have wanted and wanted something in my possession, both tangible and intangible objects, but they never made its way to me. As I get older I develop an altered mindset. At one point in my life I would simply be upset that I did not get what I wanted but now I try and understand why what I wanted may not have been good for me at all or at that particular time in my life. I constantly find myself making pros and cons list in my head and whenever the bad outweighs the good I thank God for foreseeing tragic events that could have potentially ruined all of my growth that I have experienced.

Dear girl who sees all of her friends and family experiencing different aspects of life do not ever feel like you aren’t doing enough. Who has the autonomy to measure what enough is? You do. You set your own expectations and create your own experiences confidently knowing they are the right decisions for you. Never worry about what other people are doing because you are taking energy away from your own growth. Stay true to who you are and life will take you where you are meant to be.

Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these photos.

The Glo up

Inspiration

46FBD96C-9EE0-43C2-BDC2-FFBD1B8BCB85.pngI’m baaaaack ! It has been a real real long time since I’ve posted on here due to my busy schedule. Let’s do a quick recap/update on my life:

  • I just finished my first year of graduate school – I literally made it through by the grace of God because when I say this past semester beat me the hell up I mean it. From the excessive papers due one after the other and the not so great professors it was just a bit of a change and challenge for me. BUT I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me so I knew that I was going to make it through. This past semester I actually had the chance to bond with a lot of my classmates and get to know them which was a plus because we would help eachother out and keep eachother inspired and engaged because we all knew first hand what the other was going through !
  • I became the Summer Graduate Assistant for the Masters of Public Administration program- Now this is my real life Cinderella story y’all. It was me and one of my classmates both going up for this position. My classmate was more than qualified to take on this position so when I initially heard that she had applied I felt a bit discouraged and by that point had already psyched myself out. I went for my interview with the director of the program that I had already met breifly at an event prior to me starting Graduate School and to my surprise she remembered me. Also she just so happened to be my graduate advisor, whom i hadn’t stopped in and saw yet which isn’t recommended (build great relationships with your advisors, they’re there to help!) As soon as I sat down we talked about the event we both attended and then went into the interview. A few weeks following the interview I was notified by my advisor that I had gotten the position of Summer graduate assistant. Typically people just take their wins and go on bout their business but I wanted to know why she had chosen me she looked at me and said she sees my potential and my passion. That meant the absolute world to me and showed me that I have to work my ass off in this assistantship to show her that she did not make a bad decision by taking a chance on me. Since then I have started my assistantship and I love it so much already. I have a lot planned and there will be many great things to come for the Masters of Public Administration ‼️
  • I got my own Studio Apartment – y’all the bird has finally left the nest ! For as long as I can remember I have always lived with people. I lived with my parents up until the age of 17 and then I went off to college in Buffalo and had roommates all the way up until this past May. The search for my own studio apartment was NOT an easy one but through the grace of God and my optimism I was able to find a small studio apartment that was just right for me. Since I’ve moved out on my own I’ve gained this sense of independence and I am so obsessed with this feeling. I love the fact that I depend on myself for pretty much everything at this point and I know that I am gonna get things done ! Being in my own space is allowing me the opportunity to get to know myself and see my quirks and tweaks as well as my positive attributes. If you ever get the chance to move into your own apartment, DO IT! The feeling is truly indescribable.

Everyone has a different definition of what it is to hit their glo up moment. To me a glo up is when an individual is just excelling I’m so many different aspects of their life. Some people don’t even know when their glo will happen it just kinda does. I can relate to that because I feel as though I am in a totally different place mentally and I don’t even really know when i made that crossover from who I was into the woman I am today but I love it and I love her and who she is becoming. This summer is all about my glo up mentally, physically and spiritually and if I must say I have a pretty good headstart! When you hit your glo you automatically know it because you see that change in yourself. Those little things that used to upset you barely bother you, those people who use to be so important get put on the back burner because you are so in tune with yourself. It’s okay to be selfish from time to time because you have to know and believe that if no one else in this world got you, you got you and your not gonna let yourself fail, this is one of the most comforting feelings you will ever experience. So accept and embrace your glo because it will prove to you that true happiness comes from within yourself!