Maiden or Married

So i was doing my usual scroll through Instagram and i went stumbled across a post made by the shaderoom. So those who are familiar knows that the shaderoom is the place to go if you ever want the latest tea, controversial topics and sometimes even positivity. This was the post that instantly caught my eye:

The post posed the question of whether or not a woman should take on her husbands last name once they are married. Alright yall lets take this back historically. Many many decades ago it women were actually forbidden and it was looked down upon for them to keep their maiden names because once a man and woman were married they were seen as one. At the time, the one was seen as the husband who was the head of the family and would be representative of himself and his family. Let’s just say that we lived in a very patriarchal society.

It only became acceptable and legal for a women to maintain her maiden name in 1972. It is now 2018 and although women not taking their husbands isn’t illegal it is still seen as deviant behavior. More than 80% of women take on their husbands last names and more than 40% feel it should still be illegal if a woman refuses not to take on her husbands last name. Times are so different now and women are so much more outspoken now a days. There are women who feel as though they shouldn’t have to take on their husbands last names, there are even women who feel like their husbands should acquire their last name instead. The comment section of the post i mentioned earlier was flooded with what one would consider “feminist” comments like “because i love my last name”, “because i didn’t want to”, “I am way too educated and published in my field to drop my last name for his”, “because i already have one” etc. Then there were also comments that felt like a woman should take on her man’s last name. Then you had those who said they would hyphenate their last name to compromise.

My take on this is simple. When i get married I will be taking on my husbands last name. Simply because it is what i seen while i was being raised. My grandmother took on my grandfather’s and my mother followed suit and took on my father’s. I believe it to be a respect thing. In a heterosexual marriage each person plays a role as husband and wife. Yes of course we are equals but i expect certain things out of my husband as he expects out of me. Me changing my last name doesn’t change who I am it is simply adding on someone’s name that i choose to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with. But of course everyone has their different takes on this topic for several different reasons. So as a woman would you take on your husband’s last name? As a man would you expect your wife to take on your last name ? Why or why not ?

*I do not own the rights to the photo above*

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